bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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