I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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