Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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