i permit you to call me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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