so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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