He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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