she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
