Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
