You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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