its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
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