epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
