her vagine was all disorganized.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
