Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks

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  (303): Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks http://tfl.nu/eae4
  Replies (34) Good night (1035) Bad night (3088)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.

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  (937): you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with. http://tfl.nu/ct1p
  Replies (40) Good night (5909) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.

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  (906): I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up. http://tfl.nu/m243
  Replies (16) Good night (3939) Bad night (825)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.

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  (423): i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions. http://tfl.nu/w3io
  Replies (17) Good night (1182) Bad night (8102)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.

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  (928): she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college. http://tfl.nu/99x7
  Replies (50) Good night (9258) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year

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  (732): I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year http://tfl.nu/jq5i
  Replies (23) Good night (5946) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal

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  (251): Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal http://tfl.nu/vqqo
  Replies (12) Good night (2845) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?

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  (217): I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high? http://tfl.nu/4i2m
  Replies (23) Good night (2759) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

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  (248): If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is. http://tfl.nu/p0ib
  Replies (15) Good night (2673) Bad night (955)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.

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  (508): I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember. http://tfl.nu/6qay
  Replies (22) Good night (1509) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

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  (562): it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats http://tfl.nu/6ylt
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me

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  (864): So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me http://tfl.nu/4trs
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (1372)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.

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  (206): In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises. http://tfl.nu/t2bs
  Replies (4) Good night (1081) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate

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  (972): I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate http://tfl.nu/d9si
  Replies (2) Good night (198) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.

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  (540): A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be. http://tfl.nu/g1v3
  Replies (0) Good night (341) Bad night (192)

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