he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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