it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
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When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?