I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude i'm inner monologue high
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
