At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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