shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
