the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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