I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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