I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
