Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
