My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
