y did u give ur computer a hand job?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
