break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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