Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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