i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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