Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Even my vagina gasped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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