we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
