I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
