he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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