I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
