wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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