He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
