a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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