we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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