I think i peed on brittanys purse
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize
