I'm really into asian looking animals
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
