So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
