since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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