So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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