so explain again why im purple
no
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
