Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
