she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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