My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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