pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
