If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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