Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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