I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The best revenge is premature balding
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
