At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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