I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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