My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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