dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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