whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I believe in your delicious
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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