I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
barbara walters just said penis...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
