By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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