Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
