You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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