It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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