Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
