Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
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It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
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Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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