my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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