i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
false alarm. still invincible.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
