Whod you bang
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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