If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
