I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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