2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
