did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize