is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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